• Simplifying your world by downsizing

    We all have too much stuff. We have things we don’t touch in years that are just taking up space. As a side note, I am writing this column to myself, but I thought I would share with you my advice to me!

    I have a theory. It is called the “Kraft’s Theory of Space.” It will never be as famous as Newton’s Theory of Relativity or Charles Darwin’s Theory of Evolution, but it seems to be a theory that is accurate almost without exception.

  • Writing for laughter and brotherly love

    I always thought I was funnier than my brother. Then I gave him a column in my newspaper and he turns out to be more humorous than I.

    Who woulda thunk it?

    My older brother Don, a psychiatrist who lives in Memphis, Tenn., has been writing a humor column for The Guadalupe County Communicator since December, when I bought the newspaper. And, surprisingly, he’s developed a bit of a following.

    A huge following, my tall-tale-telling brother will undoubtedly say, but I’m trying to keep it real.

  • It’s chile, not chili

    Two area daily newspapers generously touted the (early) arrival of green chile. The Albuquerque Journal and the Santa Fe New Mexican both had photos of people roasting and eating that delicious stuff.

    So appealing have these articles been that I’m now appealing to our lead reporter to provide equal coverage in the Optic to local pealing and roasting of green chile.

  • Contrafact at the Gazebo

    Friday, Aug. 17, 2018, Contrafact Jazz Band performs at the Plaza Park Gazebo from 5:30-7:30 p.m. as part of “Fridays al Fresco” sponsored by Las Vegas First. Come listen and dance.

  • They are only words — or are they?

    Each of us has spoken our first words. None of us has spoken our last words.

    There is a saying I think of often: “We are each born unique, but we die common.”

    The first minutes and hours of a newborn’s life hold so much hope and promise as we think thoughts such as “this child may change the world.” Then life is lived and most people seem to die “common.”

  • Who’s the real enemy of the people?

    If the media are indeed “the enemy of the people,” so is democracy. We don’t have to have it, this democratic element to our republic.

    China is doing fine without it, and Russia is making a comeback without it. Even North Korea, with an iron curtain of its own around its oppressed citizenry, is on the rise on the world stage.

    These are nations run by dictators who control their people by limiting free speech and keeping a tight grip on the media.

  • Lost in a storybook

    This column could evolve into a tug-of-war, but more likely it’ll become simply a matter of who prefers what.

    I’ve been an avid reader most of my life, but the quantity and quality of my reading often hinges on the form in which the printed word is presented.

    Let me explain:

  • Here’s the down side of modern technology

    My last breath will be breathed in a world far different from the world I breathed my first breath. Oh, how the world has changed! One constant in our world is change.

    Some will argue that the world is changing for the better and others will argue that it is changing for the worse. It really depends on what you focus on.

    Early in the existence of mankind mere survival was success. Finding food and shelter were full time activities. As mankind spread and multiplied, time was freed up to enjoy leisure activities or to learn academically.

  • That was the last straw

    Call this grasping at straws, but there’s considerable import behind the following topic.
    It concerns a 12-year-old boy in West London who had to go to court to answer assault charges. He and three friends were eating at a McDonald’s in Hammersmith, when they started acting like . . . a group of unattended 13-year-old boys. One of them allegedly put a French fry into his straw and tried to launch it at a friend.

    He missed.

    But wait — there’s more:

  • I really didn’t say everything I said

    “Ninety percent of the game is half mental.” What? That statement doesn’t even make sense. Don’t ask questions, it was said by Yogi Berra!

    This is just one of many quotes of “wisdom” by baseball great Yogi Berra, who apparently wasn’t too bright with numbers. He also once said “90 percent of short putts don’t go in.” Each of these quotes supports the premise that four out of three individuals are poor at fractions.