An endorsement for pig-kisser

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We, the God-fearing citizens of Las Vegas, N.M., in order to provide for the common good, save our dignity, prevent insanity and civil disobedience, hereby endorse Tom McDonald for pig kisser of our community. He is just such a ham.

We believe that Mr. McDonald (not Ronald) is most deserving of the honor of showing our community that, in many instances, pigs are people, too. We deal with pigs every day (no pun intended, Chief Montaño). No offense, Honey. ...

We ask all our families, friends and neighbors, this side and that side of the Chicken River (Gallinas) to support the Samaritan Home by making your donation and voting for Tom McDonald.

We also ask the other pig-kissing candidates to forfeit their votes in a show of mercy, pity and sympathy for the pig. There is no need to keep the pig in shock wondering who he has to kiss. If there is no clear-cut winner, let’s have a runoff, and if there are any irregularities let’s throw the results out the window, declare me the winner and tell me where I can find the city manager (just a joke, just a joke, OK). I would much rather kiss the pig.

All kidding aside, we need to donate to the Samaritan Home. It provides much needed services in our area and it is a community-based organization.

My mother founded the Samaritan Home (Cleo Flores). I lived there during my teenage years.

Vote Tom McDonald.

Lorenzo Flores
“Pig Spokesman”
Las Vegas