It’s time for another round of whimsical titles of movies, TV programs and books. The rules are simple: React to the clue and make a minor change in the title. Most of the works have only a single letter altered, but the correct answer may also depend on a rhyme.
For example: In this movie, Arnold Schwarzenegger works as a remorseless, opinionated and efficient hairdresser. Answer: The Permanator (The Terminator).
1. Denzel Washington creates a team at Wiley College that is so good, he’ll give you a full refund if you’re not satisfied.
2. Jude Law plays a wounded Civil War soldier on a long journey to have a frigid sip of water.
3. Demi Moore is accused of purchasing lottery tickets in Massachusetts. When discovered committing this no-no, she blushes incessantly.
4. Nicolas Cage must bake 50 muffins in record time or his brother may die.
5. The Germans will annihilate thousands of British soldiers trapped in Greece unless help arrives quickly. If they’re unable to spout some clever word play, the kind that elicits groans, they’re in trouble.
6. Vin Diesel in a high-octane thriller involving a bunch of rapid rubbernecks who are wondering about big-rig hijackings.
7. Michael Landon appears in this series about a diminutive quadruped that romps around the countryside.
8. Tobey Maguire is able to throw only the curve, knuckleball, screwball and fast ball until he undergoes an ominous transformation that helps him perfect the one pitch he couldn’t throw.
9. After whipping out her Visa card, Angelina Jolie insists the kidnapped child that is returned to her isn’t really hers.
10. A disloyal Don Cheadle has apparent ties with terrorist groups and almost gets mired down in a corn field.
11. Victor Mature stands out as a sinewy guy in this Biblical epic movie. Asked if he’s on a weight-gain diet, he answers, “I’m a frayed knot.”
12. Daniel Day-Lewis, an oil tycoon, delivers rain instead.
13. Donald Sutherland and Suzanne Somers fall in love at a seafood buffet.
14. John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson insist that everyone on their list be able to use appropriate words.
15. Victor Mature becomes a vegetarian in this ‘50s Roman Empire flick, and the Romans are not pleased.
16. Cuba Gooding Jr., a developmentally disabled man, excels at one thing: the ability to determine that 2 is to 6 as 5 is to15.
17. Cary Grant plays reformed jewel robber John Robie in this classic Hitchcock thriller. The object is to tackle Tony Gonzales, the stellar wide receiver for the Kansas City professional football team.
18. Charles (Clive Owen), a successful ad exec and devoted family man, meets a sexy woman, Jennifer Aniston, on his morning commute. Together they organize a company that cleans cars inside and out.
19. A group of high schoolers witnesses Soviet and Cuban paratroopers descending on their small town, setting off World War III. The movie features so much bloodshed that it completely discolors the old playing field at Perkins Stadium.
20. Sandra Bullock becomes a priest whose Sunday services delight everyone.
21. The first mate of the ship Patna, in a novel by Joseph Conrad, creates a disturbance by his boisterous, brazen behavior.
22. In this Dostoevsky novel, Rodion Romanovich Raskolnikov commits a murder and gets sentenced to a lifetime of cleaning up after his crime.
23. Dakota Fanning gets an education in an apiary farm, where she discovers some of the drones have gotten married on the sly.
24. In this 1952 novel by Ralph Ellison, a man moves to New York City and perfects a particular kind of vehicle that can barely be seen.
25. In this 1954 novel by William Golding, a group of English schoolboys marooned on an island, come up with the perfect side order to complement the hamburgers from the grill.
Art Trujillo is a copy editor at the Optic and a contributing member of the newspaper’s Editorial Board. He may be reached by calling 425-6796 or by e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com.
1. The Great Rebaters (Debaters)
2. Cold Fountain (Mountain)
3. The Scarlet Better (Letter)
4. Done in 60 seconds (Gone)
5. Puns of Navarrone (Guns)
6. The Fast and the Curious (Furious)
7. Little Horse on the Prairie (House)
8. Slider Man (Spider)
9. The Chargeling (Changeling)
10. Tractor (Traitor)
11. The Rope (Robe)
12. There will be Flood (Blood)
13. Noshing Personal (Nothing)
14. Pulp Diction (Fiction)
15. Demeatrius and the Madiators (Demetrius and the Gladiators)
16. Ratio (Radio)
17. To Catch a Chief (Thief)
18. Detailed (Derailed)
19. Red Lawn (Dawn)
20. Mass Congeniality (Miss)
21. Loud Jim (Lord)
22. Grime and Punishment (Crime)
23. The Secret Wives of Bees (Lives)
24. The Invisible Van (Man)
25. Lord of the Fries (Flies)